So, what is this cryptocurrency thing? And is it too late for ‘regular folk’ to dip their toes in this newfangled investment monsoon?

08 December 2022 | Ask James | Clipper Media News

person holding silver bitcoin coin
Photo by Crypto Crow on Pexels.com

Q: I have just returned from a two-year excursion to Outer Rigatoni and I’ve been reading about this thing called bitcoin. Is it too late to make a crypto killing?

A: If I had a cryptocurrency coin for every time someone asked me if they have missed the Crypto bandwagon I’d be quasi-rich.

Crypto is so hot you can burn your hands just thinking about it.

So first off, what exactly is cryptocurrency?

ChatGPT:

Cryptocurrency is a digital or virtual currency that uses cryptography for security and is decentralized, meaning it is not controlled by a central authority such as a government or a bank. Cryptocurrencies are based on blockchain technology, which is a distributed ledger that is managed by a network of computers on the internet. The most well-known cryptocurrency is Bitcoin, but there are many others, such as Ethereum, Litecoin, and Ripple.

Clear as mud, right?

Okay, so let’s imagine we are watching a movie about someone who has a warehouse filled with hundreds of cheap, entry-level Dell computers which they use to create fake money and then they take the funny money to Las Vega, hoping against hope they can win enough real money to buy a studio condo that is so small there is not enough in the room for a shower in the WC.

That is crypto.

In other words, it is about as close to being a foolproof investment as anything you can imagine.

Former fake crypto billionaire Sam Bankman-Fried

But I hear you asking: What about Sam Bankman-Fried and FTX Trading Limited?

Well, it is true that Bankman-Fried’s fake ‘net worth’ peaked at $26 billion in October 2022 and his ‘net worth’ dropped 94% in a day to $991.5 million, according to the Bloomberg Billionaires Index.

person holding a mug

That was the largest one-day fake wealth drop in the index’s history!

In fact, by November 11, 2022, the Index indicated that Bankman-Fried was shown to have no ‘material wealth,’ real or otherwise.

But bear in mind that this is an exception to the rule.

While it is true that Sam Bankman-Fried is ‘alleged’ to have lost billions of actual dollars, it was, in fact, one of those ‘misunderstandings’ that rich people and corporations often make when they are trying their darn best to make quick cash for their stakeholders or even themselves.

And what to make of the fact that cryptocurrency holdings are not protected by government-backed insurance? Or that you might lose all of your ‘wealth’ if you or someone else cannot open the ‘crypto safe’ where the fake money is stored?

close up shot of silver and gold round coins

Well, that is another one of those unfortunate truths that might suggest that cryptocurrency is the biggest scam since sliced bread.

But one should keep in mind that the making of sliced bread has since become fully automated.

So, in conclusion, cryptocurrency is indeed the start of a brave new world where old-fashioned ‘currency’ has been replaced by a genetically modified facsimile of real money that can sometimes be used to purchase goods and services just about anywhere in the world! Even online!

Ask James | Clipper Media News